In this post, I would like to talk about the song Waiting for the Worm. One of the reasons I chose this song to start with is because many people have claimed it is a satanic song; I assure you, it is not.
Simply put, this song is about anxiety attacks, also known as panic attacks. I have suffered this indignity nearly my whole life. For those of you not familiar with it, it is a sudden unexplainable feeling of threatening and fear. Sometimes it is caused by a real incident; other times, its source is unknown.
Imagine being perfectly happy doing something you love when suddenly you are gripped by uncontrollable dread. This feeling is so intense when it comes, you actually feel as if you’re going to die; or lose your mind. It makes no difference whether the threat is real or perceived; the end result is the same.
Studies have shown that 1 out of 15 people suffer from panic attacks. They can produce symptoms more dramatic than violent poisons including altering the functions of your major organs. Your heart, lungs, stomach, intestines, pancreas, kidneys, bladder, eyes and large muscle groups can all be affected.
Natural stimulants and hormones are produced through your bloodstream during a panic attack including adrenaline, epinephrine, and glycogen. Your only thought is to run and/or hide.
If you have never experienced this, it may seem a bit silly to you. Even now, as I type this, I sometimes smile and shake my head. But for those of us who have experienced it, I can certainly tell you that it is no laughing matter while it is happening.
One of the problems with panic attacks is that you never know when or where they’re going to strike. Sometimes you find yourself waiting for it. You don’t know what will trigger it. In the song, I referred to the attack, or the madness as the worm. I got this idea from an old Star Trek movie.
I must confess that the first section has little to do lyrically with panic attacks. It was merely an abstract dramatization of what a person could experience during an attack. In this case, it’s happening to a little girl. She’s scared…she believes she’s dying or possibly already dead and she’s feeling trapped; desperately searching for a way out through her mother.
After this section comes the first movement, titled Meet the Madness. These lyrics introduce the fear and feeling that come with a panic attack. It also explores the possibility that although you may not have experienced one yet, a panic attack may possibly be in your future:
It’s been in a few of us
It’s still inside of more
The worm is madness and it’s knocking at your door
The next section is titled Disbeliever. It’s for those who dismiss this as fantasy. Through the years, as I’ve spoken to people about my panic attacks I have found that many people have experienced something very similar. As I state in this section, I hope you never have to go through it.
The third movement is Help and I basically wanted to say that if you suffer from panic attacks, you are not alone. I used to remain quiet about mine fearing to be ridiculed. I have found however, that many people are experiencing these so it’s okay to talk about it. Sometimes just talking to someone else who has been through it can help you immensely.
The final movement, Epilogue, wraps up the whole concept by saying “Hey, I’m here to listen.” Not only does it end the song, it also ends the entire CD because in one form or another every song on Mental Stillness is about listening to someone with a problem. Basically, I laid my soul bare to you and invite you to do the same.
I sincerely believe that in the case of music, the song means different things to different listeners. I will confess that almost every song I write has at least two meanings; some contain many different levels. In the case of Waiting for the Worm, the subject matter above is the top level. There is another meaning to this song for me personally but I reserve that for myself. I just wanted to state for the record that although the other meaning is private, I don’t mind telling you that is not Satanic. I believe in God and I believe in Satan. Maybe Satan is responsible for panic attacks. I certainly don’t know. I only know that I personally would never promote any endeavor of the horned one. I merely meant to bring this disorder into the light and educate people a bit.
If you have any thoughts on this subject, I’d love to hear from you. Email me or comment by clicking below. I’m always here…listening…tell me your secret.
I will be honest with you. This song is not for everyone. However, if you enjoy Pink Floyd and similar bands or you enjoy music with an epic quality and deep lyrics, there is a good chance you will fall in love with it. I hope you have as much fun listening as we did recording it! Enjoy.